That my emotions would be hurting, was expected. So was becoming lonely. Changing our IRS forms — insurances — etc. I knew these changes would be coming and tried to prepare for them. When future ‘realities’ turned present – their expirations became very different. But I did know that they were coming and for me, reaccepting changes is still easier than being caught off guard. Perhaps that’s because these little things I didn’t know existed, and so no emotional preparation — right or wrong.
One example — early, returning from the carpentry shop, there was my very ill wife at the bedroom window, smiling at me. Now, every morning returning, I look to see her — that smile, and try not to tear up before getting into the house. —- her sun glasses in our car, or reading glasses on our borough — her margarita juice in the refrigerator —- oh, every day, even after three years, something else I wasn’t expecting or prepared for. But then, every day, our relationship keeps its value in my heart. Is that her spirit assuring me that we continue to remain together?
Do you experience something similar? It helps me sharing mine with you — thanks, Peter